“It’s not joy that makes us grateful; it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.” – Brene Brown
Here in the USA, we’re celebrating Thanksgiving this week. Today I’d like to discuss being thankful for all the good we have in life. An attitude of gratitude has become a frequent expression in our time. This is particularly true during this time of Thanksgiving.
What does an attitude of gratitude mean? It simply means we pay attention to the good things in life more than the negative things. Gratitude is a simple, profound practice that can change your life. Research has confirmed its many emotional and physical benefits. Several years ago, I discussed this practice and suggested journaling as a means to reinforce this mindset. A printable was included to assist in journaling. (Gratitude Journal)
Today I would like to discuss ways to express gratitude to those you love. Small acts can make a big difference in someone else’s day and also your own. To establish a grateful mindset I am suggesting that you have a 30-day gratitude challenge where you consciously try to be thankful each and every day for the next month or even into 2025. I have shared many ideas for the Advent season in the post on Advent Acts of Kindness. For those who do not celebrate Advent or even Christmas, let’s separate kindness from a religious holiday. Make your actions of thankfulness about your family, friends, and community.
Ways to Express Thankfulness
I. Verbalize Thanks
In this time of instant communication through texts and emails, put down your laptop. Pick up the telephone and say the words. If you live in the same home or work in the same office, physically stand by the person you wish to thank. Verbalize your gratefulness. This is a powerful act even if it’s just the words, thanks or thank you. If you wish to thank your neighbor, go knock on the door and thank them. It only takes a few minutes. If they live somewhere else, call them. Than drop a note to say I’m thinking of you.
II. Let Go of Grievances
Everyone can make a mistake – even you. If most of your relationship with a person is negative or complaining, you can harm that relationship. If the mistake caused no real problem, let it go. Talk about some of their positive actions. Your coworker is late. Your server at lunch did not refill your tea. Your son left his dirty socks on the living room floor. A mound of small actions can distress and ruin your day when you hold on to negative emotions. You can’t control the actions of others. You can control your reaction. Holding on to irritations and anger will ultimately harm you.
III. Anticipate Others’ Needs
If your best friend is having a serious medical test, offer to take them to the appointment or bring a casserole to them for dinner. Be available to listen to their feelings. Your daughter is worried about a big test. Be supportive and encouraging with small acts like making her favorite foods for lunch. Write a small note of support to put in the lunch. You are expressing your emotions by anticipating their needs. Decades ago I worked in a program that offered frail seniors in home care. My co-workers were people who cared about others. My boss offered to drive me to the hospital the morning I had an out-patient procedure. She gave the nurse at check-in the office number to call when I was ready to be discharged. Another co-worker picked me up and brought me home. A third co-worker brought me homemade soup for dinner. I felt so loved and cared for.
IV. Cater To Their Preferences
If your loved one loves action films and you love romantic comedies, offer to go the latest thrilling action flick. The first time I saw an ad for Black Adam I thought of my sister-in-law. She loves those movies while I am bored. I called her long distance to say I was thinking of her and asking if she is going to see the movie. We had a nice conversation, and she knew all about the movie.
Prepare your love’s favorite food as a way of saying I care. Practice gratitude as more than compromise. Plan a day with your son doing his favorite things. I still remember several afternoons in elementary school when my mother picked me up early. We had lunch together and went shopping for Easter. It’s been decades but it’s still one of my fondest memories – an afternoon alone with my mother doing things I liked.
V. Ask Questions
When we first meet someone, we ask questions. Where are you from? What do you like? Sharing information is what helps establish a relationship. Maintaining a curiosity about another’s life is a way to show our concern for their welfare. There is the automatic “how are you” and “how was your day” when we see someone. An even better question is to observe the person’s mood and “ask is everything ok?” or “what happened?” Questions that probe deeper truths are also important. What is their attitude toward life? Who do they admire? Why? Actually sharing what we believe is so important in developing a deeper relationship.
In Conclusion
When it comes to expressing yourself in words, keeping it simple is often best. Most people will appreciate a thank you, even if it comes in those two simple words. For it to be most meaningful, share what it is that you appreciate specifically, such as, “Thank you so much for your help with that project,” or “Thank you for being there for me,” or “Thank you for your care and support during my recovery.” Show your gratitude to the people in your life with words and actions.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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These are all really wonderful ideas, Carol. I think of all of them, I especially liked “ask questions.” Those open-ended questions where they can really say something. And of course, thank you!
Jeanie I must thank you for being an online companion. I’ve enjoyed our conversations about nature, history, books, food, and whatever life gives up. I look forward to our exchange of ideas and appreciate your dropping by with comments. Happy Thanksgiving!
I love that 30-day gratitude challenge! Happy Thanksgiving, Carol!
Angie my dear, I must say thank you for dropping by when I post and always engaging me with conversation. I look forward to your visits and my visits to your blog. Happy Thanksgiving!
What lovely ideas. It’s nice to be nice and appreciating others really can make a difference in someone’s day.
Thank you for all the wonderful blog posts that you write.
Thank you for all your visits throughout the year and your kind comments. I always look forward to visiting with you.
These are great ideas! Just before I started homeschooling the boys I ran across a Facebook poster that had 30 days of Thankful for November and (while none of us use Facebook) it’s a tradition we adopted as a family. The boys aren’t required to do that anymore since they’ve graduated and become adults but it’s something I keep up with and turned my sentence a day post into a thankful one. I often think I should keep it going year round but somehow never do!
I appreciate your support throughout the year and thank you for your generosity of spirit.
These are really good reminders – life is short, and our relationships are so important!
Carol this is an awesome article. I used to keep a gratitude journal but I got away from it. I thank you for the reminder. I will add this to my “To Do” list fot 2025. Again, a great article..
You are the most organized person I know and a true inspiration to all of us who visit your blog and video channel.
Great ideas and excellent advice Carol! I try to count my blessings every day, pass kindnesses on too, at this special time even more so. I hope your Thanksgiving is a very blessed one for you my friend.
I wish all of God’s blessings for your family and yourself.
What lovely ways to express kindness. So very glad to have met you through the blogging world, you’re a lovely friend. 🙂
This is such a lovely post. I do try my best to show gratitude to my loved ones all the time. But, I also have to remember to take some time for showing gratitude to myself and my life too. It’s tough sometimes but dwelling on the worst parts never helps. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving x